How to be the Perfect John Gray Stepford Wife

Posted: August 11, 2011 in How to be the Perfect John Gray Stepford Wife

How to Be the Perfect
John Gray
Stepford Wife


While this is offered with all due humor, it does bare a striking resemblance to the so-called “professional advice” proffered by John Gray. Could it be that we are actually uncovering a source in Gray’s “seven years of research?” (Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, 3.) Pay attention. There will be a test on this later.


  1. Get your work done. Plan your tasks with an eye on the clock, finish or interrupt them an hour before he is expected. Your anguished cry, “Are you home already?” is not exactly a warm welcome. 
  2. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal–on time! This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking of him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are [part of the warm welcome needed. 
  3. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. 
  4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then ran a dustcloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. 
  5. Prepare the children. Take just a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they’re small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. 
  6. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. 
  7. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and act glad to see him. 
  8. Some don’ts. Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared to what he may have gone through that day. 
  9. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back into a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and take off his shoes. Speak in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind. 
  10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. 
  11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relaxed. 
  12. The goal. Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
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Comments
  1. p'bee says:

    13. Go and get a lobotomy so you don’t have any independent thoughts messing up your pretty little head.

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